TWO POEMS by LAUREL REYNOLDS
Guenevere’s Private IG Caption
after “Shakespeare’s Cumslut” by b.h. fein & Britney Spears’s Instagram Captionssoooooo girlyPOPS💥 imagine ur 🍑🥤ass🍑 on a hard ass seat (🙄😒 fit 4️⃣ a 👸 allegedly🥱) enter stage left ⬅️⬅️ some tall ⬆️⬆️⬆️ HOT nameless (⁉️⁉️) 🤺🤺 knight 👀🥵🤤. bitch boy 🤴🇬🇧 sees too 🤠😉 and grunts “🤔🖤⚔️😏” while i’m 🤫😶 silently all “🍆💦📏📐❓” (side 🗒️, we can ➡️combine⬅️ emojis 🍑can’t //italicize⁉️// someone 📞📲 seinfield 🅱️cuz what’s ⬆️ w that⁉️⁉️) anyways, 2️⃣✌️many 😏😼lances to 🫣🧐inspect🧐👀 not a lot of⏳ ⌛️. ☕️ mayb ☕️we’ll (👸🤺 ) ride a 🥥🎠horse🐎🥥 or each 🫣 other 🍆😍. think 🧠🧐 he can keep 😮💨pace🫁 w it❓👀 you 👯♀️👧 girlies KNOW 🤔💭 if any ☝️ can make🥣🍾 a chivalrous 😎☺️ dude 🤦♂️🕺 cum💧a lot 💧💦🌊 in camelot it’s the 👸👸 (me obvi). rumors 🤳📳 have 📝named📇 my 💖💝NEEDED💘💕 top 🗡️⚔️ the 🖤⚫️♠️ or ⚪️🤍🕊️ knight🤺🌌. gtg, arthur 🙄😾 wants me (still 👸💋) 👉🏻👉🏻 in our 🛌🏡🪞 chambers. 🌙😻nighty-night, 👩❤️👨💌 my knight! i’ll see 👀👀 u 💀sans 💪armor 🥕in 🛏️😴my dreams🥰🥰
Isn’t This What It’s All About?
Popping pussy and taking names, walking
into lakes purse first and moving immovable
objects. Behead a knight and watch him walk
while we—the bourgeois—feast; meet a knight
of every color and lance his back when needed.
Bet gold on who sashays away to hell and swoop
in on the left-over lonely maidens. Each tourniquet
after a tournament a sash: etch our names into the wood
right here, together. We only die alone if everyone leaves;
stay. I won’t break your name on this ground, won’t
drop it into the sky.
Laurel Reynolds (they/she) is a Twin Cities poet stuck in a love/hate relationship with Massachusetts while getting a master’s from Brandeis University. Their poems have been featured by Devastation Baby, fifth wheel press, Moss Puppy Magazine, Minnesota Public Radio, and more. Laurel is a poetry editor with JAKE and released their debut chapbook, “Swallowing the Ash,” last year with Bottlecap Press. She’s currently training her cat and living radically.