THREE POEMS by SCOTT CUMMING
Bath Fart Poem
The bath fart sounded
like a note from a Shins song
Trying to drown another back ache
from a flying double knee drop
and soothe my orator's
Dog Man tired throat
The dumbest shit
makes you feel your age
Still 5 years younger than
the champ
yet immobilised
from not knowing when to
stop.
Self Portrait of the Portly Poet as Another Sad White Dude
I am a glutton
for nourishment
A waiver wire maven
A mediocre sitcom dad
A study in mild mannerisms
A rotten Swiss cheese wheel
wedged on the fence
A harbinger of fuck you
A scared, scatterbrained nobody
An insincere show off
grinning in the window
A court jester performing
for whoever's in earshot
A wannabe who feels nothing
in his achievements
A listless submitter
of listless lists
A man-sized boy with
another Christmas list
composed solely of toys
A commentator on shit
I know dick about
A binge watcher of old sitcoms
The fifth horseman
who couldn't work the reins
and suffered a debilitating brain injury
leaving me mortal
capable only of
staring out windows
and processing NFL fantasy kickers takes.
All My Poems Could've Been Tweets
Worried I'm writing the same poem
again and again
The act itself should seem enough
I'm not kidding anyone
Never could do a handstand
shoelaces were hard enough
Didn't ride my bike
'til I was 9
Automatic writing for the people
Plenty of pages left
to sop up the tears
Guess he had to write Shiny Happy People first
to figure out
Everybody Hurts
If I weren't anchored in pop culture
could I be a great thinker?
That historic fall down the stairs
maybe affected more than my vision
That petrol smell
Reminds me of youth
Another page and a half
of wasted pencil lead
to learn what I already knew.
Scott Cumming unsuspectingly went to see Garden State wearing his Shins tee. He has been published at The Daily Drunk, Punk Noir Magazine, Versification, and Shotgun Honey. His poem, “Blood on Snow,” was voted the best of the Outcast Press Poetry "Things We Carry" issue and nominated for a Pushcart. His collection, “A Chapbook About Nothing,” was released in December. Twitter: @tummidge. Website: scottcummingwriter.wordpress.com.